This will be a very short post. You’ll see why in a moment.
There is nothing good about cancer. Don’t get me wrong, or mistake what I say for some happy Pollyanna dancing-through-the-meadow yay-for-cancer hooey. Cancer is no fun.
Aside from the fatigue, the constant membership in Sleepyville, the forgetfulness (another post for another day, if I can remember to write it), and the bone-deep pain that wakes me up gasping for air…
Cancer side effects suck
New symptoms and side effects seem to show up every day or so. Cancer has side effects that the happy-colored marginally sympathetic brochures don’t tell you about. A really fun one that I’ve recently discovered is Fear of Forgetting Shit (FOFS). It’s pronounced fawfs, in case you need to yell it out loud.
For those of you who never swear in the presence of your mother, think of this as Fear of Forgetting Stuff (FOFS). That way you won’t slip and embarrass someone.
FOFS happens, often cancer-induced
FOFS makes you check your calendar ten times a day, even when there’s nothing on it, because: There. Might. Be… plus you’ve got FOFS.
FOFS is great exercise. Say you run up to the kitchen – and I use the term ‘run’ loosely – then
- wrack your brain for the reason you ran up to the kitchen, then
- break into a cold sweat because you have dreaded this moment all day, so
- you’ve been preparing for it by leaving yourself copious Post-It notes.
Grats. You’ve survived the prelude to an episode of FOFS. Now you search for the Post-It notes.
FOFS is responsible for that sinking feeling that there was supposed to be something you HAD to do today except that you are consumed by the nagging dread that you won’t find the Post-It note where you wrote it down on and put in a very safe place. So you write it down again on three Post-It notes — and then, fearful that you might lose all three, write it on a fourth and duct-tape it to your phone.
Then you write a Post-It note to remind you where you put your phone – and put it in your pocket. With your phone.
Then, just in case, you email the contents of the Post-It note(s) to yourself, your husband, your relatives, your veterinarian and your best friends. And post it on Facebook. Because FOFS.
This is a short post because I had to write it on Post-It notes, then find the Post-It notes, then remember why I wrote the Post-It notes.